S4E9 | How To Cultivate Executive Presence

You know how some people can walk into a room and behave as though they own it? Well, in this episode we discuss how you, too, could become one among them, by developing the elusive Executive Presence.

Discussion Topics: How to Cultivate Executive Presence

• What is executive presence and why do you need it?
• Deconstructing executive presence
• How to make changes to develop executive presence
• How authenticity and experience can contribute
• Dealing with critique

Transcript: How to Cultivate Executive Presence

Subha: Welcome to another episode of Small Talk with Rainkraft podcast! You are going to get critique, you are going to get pushback, 9 times out of 10, if you can handle the Q&A, if you can handle the stress of the Q&A and the naysayers in the room that shows your presence a lot more than the actual presentation because that’s where things unravel also. You sounded so confident about this idea five minutes ago, and one question, and you seem shaken.

Hasita: So Subha, I met someone really interesting last week, you know how some people can walk into a room and behave as though they own it, and this was one of those people. And did they own it? My God, it was not that they were being particularly aggressive, or assertive, or forthcoming, or any of those things that I think we typically associate with being a present individual, it was more that they were just there and something about them being there was A adding value, and B very comforting somehow, while also being fun, being easy.

And sometimes I wonder, what kind of impressions do we all leave on the people that we meet, and does that really matter? Because it mattered to me that day so I’m assuming it does. Right?

Subha: And I’m getting a sense that this is going to stay with you for quite a while. I’m so glad you brought it up. Because I’ve been in a few rooms where this has been missing. And you kind of feel sorry for that individual who had the opportunity or who really needed to make an impact in that occasion, or in that event, and like you said, it’s not very tangible, but you know, that there was something missing.

And there’s kind of this X factor that we look for in leaders, in somebody who is not just a leader from a title sense, but somebody who’s leading that occasion, you know, you could just be leading a meeting of peers, or you could be at an external event. And, you know, like, we go to where there’s a bunch of women entrepreneurs, and you could be one of the speakers. But that X factor that we look for and, you know, in the absence of any real textbook kind of definition, I think what we are looking for is executive presence.

Hasita: No, I think you’re right. Some people have it, and some people don’t. And it seems very black and white, like, why are some leaders remembered even in the context of smaller groups and why are some not. And when we talk about executive presence, I think the issue that I find is that to me, it still seems a little abstract.

Can you quantify it first of all? And secondly, if you are not somebody who has presented before or you’ve grown into your role through the work you’ve done, but not necessarily had many opportunities to talk about it, perhaps how then do you become somebody that people should be paying attention to? And should you even bother? Because sometimes, we do feel like, okay, my work can speak for itself. So why then should I put any effort into this person?

Subha: I think, two very important questions here: one, what really is executive presence? And the bigger question which most of us have, and I think we rationalise and answer to ourselves that we don’t need it is why do I need it at all in the kind of work that I’m doing.

So executive presence is highly intuitive, we’re not going to have absolute metrics to say that someone has it, we could more easily say a leader has good analytical skills or good critical thinking skills or even great communication skills. But executive presence, you’ll kind of be searching for the words to describe it.

It’s about the ability to inspire confidence, inspire confidence in your team, inspire confidence among peers, that you are the person for the job, you’re capable, you’re reliable, you know what you’re talking about, you’ll get things done. And in some way, it indicates to those around you that you have a potential for greater things.

Hasita: That’s exactly it. I think it’s so much about the vision that you can paint and how you can go about doing that right, because I think a lot of people are happy to follow somebody who seems to know where they’re going. And I think in asking for executive presence, that’s probably exactly what we are looking for. We need a leader who can inspire others to follow the path that they’ve set out.

Subha: And coming to your second question of why do I need it? I’m let’s say right now running a small to medium agency or I’m one among many in a good set of leaders in an organisation, so what are some of the things that you need to achieve at work?

You need to really mobilise a team to do something difficult or challenging, you need to lead, typically critical or high visibility projects or you’re in a boardroom or a meeting room, and important decisions are being taken and you have a point of view and you want them to hear your point of view, not really about oh, they have to accept what you say, but you want them to hear your point of view, and you also want to inspire the juniors around you or the people you work with, whether it’s a vendor partner, or it’s your own team in your startup, or you’re one person in a large organisation with a team, but to achieve these goals, executive presence will take you a long way, it will really further your career. And it’s something that I think every leader should try and cultivate at some point in time.

Hasita: Because I think finally people follow other people, and just to that extent, I’m sure it becomes important somewhere, because I may have the breadth and depth of knowledge, probably even more than what my role entails. But communicating it and I don’t know if advertising it is the right word. But unless you put it out there, how would people know? So in the context of this conversation, say I want to actively go about building a strong presence. My goal is that in the next six months, when I enter a room, I want people to pay attention, I want people to know, even before I’m there, that I’m going to say something of value. Is there a recipe for really doing this? And if I’ve never done it before, where do I even begin?

Subha: Yes, Hasita, let’s take a pinch of this.

Hasita: Yes, please, that would be nice.

Subha: But let’s see how we can deconstruct it because since it’s not very tangible, but intuitively we know what we want to see and hear. A couple of things are easier. And the first thing and I’m glad that you’re coming from it from an angle saying, Hey, how can I be better at this, because that itself is an important awareness, or acknowledgement of the fact that this is a skill that you can add to your basket of skills. And it’s not something that, you know, we usually dismiss it, as, hey, he or she is born with it, and I can’t be that person, and I’m not so charming.

And I think charm is something that gets mixed with presence, charm is something completely different. And charm is yes, you have a very positive impact when you walk into the room, and you’re able to get people to listen to you. But executive presence in the context of work is a little more, or is much more of a skill that you can acquire. And if I deconstruct it for you, I think two, three things are important. A couple of them are easy one, which a lot of people say hey, don’t judge a book by its cover, etc., etc. But I think appearance matters, right?

And not in terms of Oh, you have to be good looking and glamorous, etc. But it’s about how you present yourself at the workplace. Or how you present yourself for an occasion. Are you just dressed for that occasion, and are you carrying yourself in a way that kind of respects the occasion? Like for example, in banking services, you can’t really keep turning up wearing denim. You need to wear a tie and suit when you’re meeting a customer, you need to be dressed in business casual because finally you’re going to have a serious conversation with them about their money and their finances. And if someone walks in unshaven you know with a denim jacket and no matter what it reduces your expectation from that person.

So one is to dress the part in whatever way that is comfortable to you. But make sure that if it’s an important occasion, or even just day to day business and day to day work meetings, walk in as though you’re ready to be there and you want to be there and you want to kind of lead this team and lead this group and lead by example. So I think appearance does honestly make a difference.

The second is just simple communication skills, right, you don’t have to be overly eloquent and use big words, but you need to speak in a confident and concise manner. Always have data or even anecdotes to backup what you’re saying. Always think about, or be mindful that typically today, whether it’s a zoom call or whether you’re in the room, there’s only so much time allocated for this.

So how do I say what I want to say in a crisp and concise way, and still get across the information that I want. Like you know, I was saying I was quite underwhelmed in a room recently, where a senior executive had to make a presentation. And it’s a 30-minute call, and it took him I kid you 12 minutes to really even tell us what he’s going to tell us. And the three, four of us on the call, we zoned out way before that. There’s another word which I really like, which people associate with executive presence, and that is gravitas. I love that word somehow. And so I’m mindful not to overuse it.

Hasita: And the funny thing is in saying that I already have this image of people with gravitas that I know who are just walking in a way in my mental picture right now.

Subha: Yeah, so do people take you seriously? Do they think before asking you something or second guessing your decision or a statement that you’ve made? Gravitas to me, it’s a combination of the confidence that you stand there with plus the personality. I think there’s a little bit of, you know, how comfortable you are standing there.

Hasita: Yeah, and that comes I think also because they have prepared so well with that role itself.

Subha: Very true. I think you could have been kind of a shy teenager or not so confident young adult, but none of that means that you need to replicate that pattern or assume that you can’t grow out of it through effort, right, these are skills, and gravitas I don’t think it’s inborn.

Hasita: It is born gravitationally story for lack of a word.

Subha: They’re defying gravity and standing straight.

Hasita: No, fair enough. In fact, I wanted to ask you that as well. Because I think maybe it’s a cultural thing or maybe it’s a global thing. I have no idea. I have only grown up in one country. But the whole Sharma Ji ka beta trope is very real. And we’ve all been compared to somebody else’s success at a very impressionable age. And I think we carry that into our adult patterns as well, and it happens very organically, because that’s the only way we know how to be. So in identifying that, where can I even begin changing it? What would help me be somebody else?

Subha: You know, this is an interesting segue, because I was recently reading about Beyonce. And I mean, we all see her on stage, super confident, strong woman, a woman who is an icon for all other women and who’s really got her act together. And I think onstage when she’s performing, she’s also a little sassy, a little aggressive, there’s a character there. What I didn’t know was that it’s actually a character she plays.

So apparently, you know, she says, I’m none of these things. I’m not confident. I’m not fearless. I’m not slightly flirtatious kind of person. And so I’ve created Sasha, and she even has a name for her saying when I go on stage I’m Sasha, and so that lets me be all of these things because then when I walk off the stage, I’m back to being me. And I think that was a very interesting kind of, maybe extreme example of how you rise to the occasion, and you don’t feel like hey, but I’m not that person. And so if I go on stage and do all these things, people who know me will know it’s not me.

Hasita: There’s an interesting lesson there, I think for all of us as well, to just say, it’s not so much pretending but can I inhabit a different character for a while and if that’s what executive presence is to me then so be it. I may still need to go back and I think a lot of us who identify with introversion, sometimes it’s not easy to step into rooms, claim space, so to speak, but just to say, I don’t have to take my entire identity into this room, it’s just about being there in service of the messaging that I need people to listen to.

Subha: And because the one thing I thought about when I was reading this is, then what happens to the whole spiel on authenticity? Because the other story that we are consistently hearing is that leaders have to be authentic.

Hasita: Yeah, like, who you wake up, as is who you need to be during yeah.

Subha: But that authenticity can come from and does come from, I think, also different places. We were saying that one of the key things, you know, if I could give you a recipe, I think the main ingredient is hours of preparation. Whether it is an event, a meeting, just a room that you know, you’re going to be in, that is important to you preparation in two ways. One, is for that situation where a little bit of this okay, what role am I playing?

Today, I’m going to be that perfect founder, or perfect business owner who has to drive this team and make them see this vision. And that’s the part I’m going to play. But the other part of preparation is really the content. And that comes from for each of us different places. I’ve been that backbencher hardly ever spoke in class. And I think even through maybe one of the few people who went through business school, hardly kind of putting my hand up much.

In a very competitive, you know, I know the answer kind of roam, I chose not to say I know the answer. But my confidence over the years came from my workplace, simply because I got better and better at what I was doing. And for me a large part of my presence and ability to, like you said, be there in the room, make an impact comes from knowing what I’m talking about.

Hasita: So true. So true. And that is what we talk about when we talk about experience, sometimes I guess about having invested again and again and again, in the same thing to the extent that in your sleep, you could be woken up and you’d still know the ins and outs of what you are talking about, and that we can do, it’s not hard to do. I mean, sure, it takes time and consistency, but it’s not impossible.

Subha: Correct. See, what’s your vision and vision is not always this big, grand thing. My vision is to get these five people to say yes to the budget for this project. That’s a good enough vision for that day. It’s a pretty heavy vision for any day. So I’ve got a vision, I’ve got an idea that I need to pitch to this group. I have certain points I need to make in favour of this. Have those ready. And I just love bullet point thinking. I think it just structures thoughts in your mind so well. And it also gives you a very quick kind of way to check.

Hey, I had four things to say. Did I say all four? Because in most times you know, if I kind of slightly close my eyes, I can see those four bullet points. Be mindful that can I say it in a crisp concise way. I don’t have to go round and round about something if I have the data and if I have the information that I have to share. And finally one thing that many of us maybe forget about or wish that we don’t have to prepare for you are going to get critique, you are going to get pushback.

Hasita: We ramble, to avoid getting specific enough that some questions may be thrown our way.

Subha: Correct. And again, that’s part of preparation. If you can think through saying, hey, two minutes, put myself in the other guy’s shoes what could he or she push back on? What is it that they may not like hearing? What do I need to counter that with? Because 9 times out of 10 when if you can handle the Q&A in a way, if you can handle the stress of the Q&A and the naysayers in the room that shows your presence a lot more than the actual presentation is there. Because that’s where things unravel also. You sounded so confident about this idea five minutes ago and one question and you seem shaken.

Hasita: Yeah, fair enough. So what I’m hearing is that there is actually a recipe and that recipe is about nine parts preparation. And one part picking the right clothes. And then maybe adding a sprinkle of your charm, or the fact that you’re trying like, you know, one of the most charming people that I think I mean, irrefutably charming, is probably Shahrukh Khan. And his charm is not the confident Dude, I’m going to punch for walls, kind of it’s more I’m going to joke about this. And come you’re also in on the joke. So that’s also kind of.

Subha: That’s interesting, because one thing that almost everybody will say about Shahrukh is that he’s charming, and he’s got presence and all that, but that he is super intelligent. So his wit comes from intelligence. So he’s very ready for that audience and that event and the questions that could possibly be asked of him. And I think a lot of this is coming from having watched the Romantics on Netflix recently, and I think falling in love with Shahrukh all over again. But you’re right, he does have all of this and more, and probably he’s not that person at home.

Hasita: I’m assuming, and also maybe he didn’t get there overnight as well.

Subha: Yeah, that’s definitely there.

Hasita: So there’s hope for the rest of us.

Subha: And the thing that irking me a bit is that I can’t immediately think of a long list of women who have great presence. I don’t know why I’m struggling.

Hasita: That’s interesting. I think maybe how we define executive presence is probably different. And this is probably a gendered conversation in that sense. I get that feeling.

Subha: Somewhere, we have so much of conditioning, to speak softly, be demure, be quiet, speak when spoken to, and while we’re trying to navigate all that and I made huge progress I’m not saying that, but when we talk about some of these topics, I think this is another episode by itself that what is holding so many of us back. That’s it from us today, folks. Thank you so much for listening. Bye.