#92 My Honest Year End Reflections You Can Learn From – Yana Fry

Stepping away from guest interviews, in this episode, I share my 2023 reflections. Turning 40 sparked an unexpected crisis, leading to deep introspection. Navigating the decision on having kids, I found solace in my choice amid societal pressures. Battling a wave of hate, the support of family and friends proved invaluable. Relaunching Yana TV brought lessons in community, delegation, and partnerships, culminating in a profound discovery of my true self.

Discussion Topics: My Honest Year End Reflections You Can Learn From

• Introduction: Personal reflection and sharing year-end reflections
• Turning 40 and Existential Crisis: The questions and challenges I faced
• Conversations about Having Children: A personal journey and the importance of individual choices
• Facing Online Hate and Bullying: The impact and the importance of support
• Lessons on Authenticity and Media Interaction: Choose your words carefully in the age of social media
• Relaunching YANA TV: Building a strong community, delegation, and strategic partnerships
• Importance of Delegation: Delegation and strategic partnerships for successful projects
• Finding Self-Identity at 40

Transcript: My Honest Year End Reflections You Can Learn From

Yana Fry: Hello welcome to Timeless Teachings , dear people. It has been a while since I recorded an episode here myself. Usually, it is guests who are coming, I interview them. But then we looked at all the previous episodes this year and I just realised it has been a very long time since I shared my own reflections. And that’s something that you guys really like.

So, here we are as the final episode for 2023. I’m going to be sharing in a very honest way my own year-end reflections and lessons so that you can learn from all of these things that happened and make decisions that empower you and bring you love, joy, and happiness in your life. Let’s begin. There are five major events and major transformations that I would like to share with you today that happened with me today.

this year. First, I turned 40 earlier this year. And it did lead me immediately to an existential crisis that I absolutely did not see coming. It was like all fine, 35, it was fine, 36, 37, 38, 39. I mean, nothing was looking like there was gonna be a major crisis. And then just a week before my birthday, you could say I hit the wall and it was a very deep and very dark place.

In a sense, when you start looking around and asking all those existential questions, what am I doing? Where am I heading? Have I done enough? Is my life going in the right direction? Have I accomplished enough? Am I successful enough? Is my family the way I want it to be? Am I missing something or not?

And how am I going to be showing up in the world for another? 50 years. So all of that was just racing through my mind and didn’t let me sleep for several nights. And at some point it was so bad, I almost started having panic attacks that I was not really able to control. And so what helped is actually reaching out and asking for help.

And like you, me, I have a very solid network of professionals, coaches, therapists, mentors that I can reach out to because I built relationships with them over the years and I know what are the specialty for each person. So when something comes up, I know exactly who to talk to. Who will help me to process it, transform it, release it in the best way possible.

And this is exactly what I did around my birthday. And it helped a lot. All of those conversations cleared my head and probably just also realised that I had at that time maybe too many things simultaneously on my plate that I was trying to juggle personally and professionally. And that leads to emotional and mental burnout when you’re just not able to cope with it.

juggling all those balls in the air. So you have to choose and prioritise. And this is exactly what I did. And that settled my mind. So if you are listening right now and you feel like you’re going through an existential crisis, I do strongly encourage asking for help, the right people who you trust, better professionals who know how to go through this stage gracefully, regardless of your age.

I mean, I heard that people these days are having existential crises when they’re 12 or 15 or 50 or 70. So it is really not age related. It is more just how our society is these days. And we also have been living through a lot of major global events for the last four or five years. Of course, our nervous system is probably stretched more than usual.

So it is very important, again, to ask for help and just take care of yourself. Second thing, which kind of naturally goes from the first, part of the existential crisis was another round of conversations with my husband, with whom we have been together for 14 years. And the conversation was around having or not having children, specifically for me.

As a woman, and probably, women who are listening right now would relate to this topic because it is a big topic these days and each woman makes her own decision and also that decision can change over the years. And I remember how A very long time ago, maybe 15 years ago or so, when I was speaking actually with one of my friends who is a phenomenal psychotherapist and I told her that I was not sure at the time whether I want or not to have kids in this life.

And she looked at me and she asked me, I’m just going to ask you one question, and you don’t have to answer, but as a friend, I’m asking you to think about it. And here’s the question. You not wanting to have children, is it an informed, conscious choice that you made in full awareness? Or is it because you had such a fucked up childhood that you are still recovering from all those traumas and that’s why you don’t want to have kids?

And I remember when she asked me this question, there was this pause in our conversation and I didn’t have an answer, not only for her, but even for myself. And that question that she asked. hit me really deeply and made me think for a very long time and do a lot of inner work. We’re talking years and years of inner work.

Trying to figure out for myself what is the answer? And I’m not going to be sharing with you the details of the conversation with my husband because it is between me and him. I’m just sharing here now. As so many women are asking themselves the same question, and I felt that question from my friend helped me to make my own decision in peace and be very happy about it.

I just hope that you make yours and it brings you peace and happiness. The next thing that I would like to share. If you have been following my social media, then you probably have seen that I experienced a massive hate wave and was a subject of a culture that was bullied by millions and millions of people for several months.

And that was probably one of the most traumatic experiences I have lived through. in my entire memory, and I have been through things in my life before, but to be bullied and hated by such a large group of people, of strangers, It was really tough, and if it was not for my family and friends, I don’t know how I would have lived through that time, to be honestly.

And I also thought to myself, when I look at the life of all those celebrities who are constantly being, Tormented by journalists and tabloids and social media. I seriously don’t know how they live with that. And to me, I’m even wondering, what is the statistic of people committing suicides when they are bullied by so many strangers?

I’m sure there is a statistic around it. And I was just also thinking to myself that if it was again not for my friends and family, I don’t know what I would have done. So I’m lucky to have this kind of support of people who just rose against and created that shield of love and support and care and reminded me about who I am.

and who I am not. And that it’s okay to make mistakes in life and you live with them, you learn from them, and you become a better person day after day. And probably also one of the big lessons here was to be very Selective talking to journalists or in general people in the media, and I heard those stories from others before, but I never thought that I would be a subject of that myself, tormented so much by media and journalists, especially about story, which I felt was totally misrepresented and twisted.

Given how I feel, the truth is, and it just showed me that perhaps I have been very naive, and I’m sharing it with you with the hope that when it is your turn to talk to the journalists, whether because you choose to or maybe because it is your profession and you have to, maybe you are a public figure, then just reminding once again.

How important it is to choose each word that you share. And these days we live in the days of social media. It means that we really have to be very careful what we are putting out there. And I personally find it almost somewhat sad. Because it impacts, in a way, authenticity. If you have to filter yourself so much.

Because if you don’t, other people are going to come after you. But then, what happens to being authentic? What happens to speaking your truth? And when you are authentic, and when you do speak your truth, then how do we deal with such a strong aggression from others? And in my experience, and I also did some research looking at it, I found that when a woman Speaks up and shares her truth and especially maybe something which is not very conventional.

Then she gets a much stronger criticism than when a man does it. And it just highlights to me another area in our society where we all need to work on and make it more compassionate.

That was the third thing I wanted to share. We have two more. Another big event that happened. And it happened, you could almost say spontaneously, and it took me by surprise. I relaunched YANA TV. If you don’t know yet what YANA TV is, it is an independent Singapore based talk show where we have heart to heart conversations with movers and shakers of Asia.

And my focus is for Yana TV, specifically on Asia, because I have been living in Asia for 15 years already. Even though I am very global, born in Europe, moved everywhere around the world, travelled everywhere. But my family is half Asian, you could say, and we live in Asia. And I just felt there are not enough voices about, especially Asian people, and also expats living in Asia.

And that’s exactly what Yana TV specialises in where we give voices to those people. So if you haven’t watched any episodes yet, it is a talk show, not really a podcast. So we are hosting it on YouTube and just go ahead and search Yana TV, in Singapore and you will see that. We have guests from all kinds of different countries in Asia who come to the studio and have conversations in my humble opinion.

are really interesting. And Once I launched, the launch was so fast and quick with the success and gaining an audience and just getting the word out that many people approached me and asked, so how do you do that? How do you create the content that gets shared so widely and so quickly? And I reflected on this and I realised that perhaps I am too spontaneous and natural, maybe it’s not so spontaneous and natural to all other people, that’s why I’m sharing it with you.

So number one, what is important is to build a very strong community. When you have a community, you can launch anything. You write a book, you publish it, you have people who support you. You launch a podcast, you publish it, you have people who support you. You have an online course, you have people who support you.

You start a new company, you have people who support you, right? So pretty much anything. Community is just golden. It’s so much more valuable these days than just money itself. People’s power is priceless. So definitely building community. And the community helped a lot. Yana TV is just a quantum leap. Number two, I learned a long time ago the importance of delegation and allocation tasks according to the greatest talents of other people.

I try my best to delegate as much as I can. So that I could free up my own time and invest it either in my family, in myself, or in other professional projects that I do. So delegation is huge. It means you have to let go of control, but it also means that you really need to know what you want and how you want it so that you can guide other people to deliver exactly what you want and to give them space to surprise you so that perhaps they deliver something even better than you expected.

And this is always a wonderful bonus. And number three would be strategic partnerships. So important. I wouldn’t be able to relaunch Yana TV on a scale we did with the professional studio recording and everything else we do on a very high level. Without strategic partnerships, people who come in, who support this space, this place, this production, this post production, the distribution.

So I would say if you have a vision and especially if you wanted to be bigger. Then it is important to remind yourself you are not in it alone. There are other people who can help, and it’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make you weaker. It doesn’t make you less of an expert in your field. It actually makes you more relatable, it makes you more human, and it also makes you more humble, because it shows you what you can and cannot do, what you’re good at, and what you’re not.

And it’s like a very good reality check. And once you’re clear about those things. and have very good partnerships, then it is just so much easier to start any project. And with these words, we are finally sharing my fifth, most important thing that happened in 20, 23 years, which is exactly how nature really flows from everything I shared until now, I realised finally in my.

40 years of life, who I am and who I am not. And that was a huge thing because for so many years, I feel that I. Consciously or subconsciously, perhaps at times with trying to be someone I’m not, trying to fit into the successful image, whatever I thought that people have of me, or maybe my parents even have of me, or I’m having of myself as the result of the social conditioning.

And only this year, it became very clear to me. That this is actually what I am, and this is what I stand for, and this is what I like doing, and this is what I don’t like doing, and align all my professional activities according with this realisation, and once I did that, once I removed from my plate all the projects that I was doing, You could say half heartedly, maybe involved 50 percent because maybe they were bringing money, but there was no meaning in them, for me.

And I removed them from my plate and instead I focused on the project where I feel there is meaning for me and there is money enough that they feel that they want to invest my time into this and those projects are helping other people and I focused on expanding them on growing teams around them and that made all the difference professionally where I am.

Right place, right time, right people, and right opportunities. Come together and this is exactly what I’m wishing for each one of you, dear people in our community for 2024 and beyond. May all your wishes come true in all areas of your life. And I hope that you learned a thing or two from my humble sharing.

about what happened in 2023. And I am so looking forward to bringing Timeless Teachings Podcast to the entirely new level in 2024. Thank you so much for your love and support.