S4E3 – How Not To Take A Layoff Personally

Winter is coming (sorry, we know this is so passé) and this season, it seems to come with a wave of mass layoffs. It’s quite terrifying because of how untimely and arbitrary they are. Layoffs are just business, not personal. We all know this. But when you get laid off unexpectedly and it throws a curveball in your career, how can you help but not take it personally? In this episode, Subha and Hasita share their thoughts on how not to take layoffs personally.

Discussion Topics: How not to take a layoff personally

• Why layoffs are so jarring despite being a business necessity.
• Coping with a layoff emotionally, in small and big steps.
• Post-layoff support and maintaining an amicable relationship with former employers.
• How to stay a step ahead if you’re anticipating a layoff.
• What companies can do to handle a layoff with sensitivity.

Hasita: Welcome to another episode of the Small Talk with Rainkraft podcast! Subha, it would seem that Winter’s coming.

Subha: Ouch.

Hasita: And I don’t mean the great Game of Thrones Season Thanks God that’s over. But I don’t think this is the first December that seems a little gloomy. Don’t you agree?

Subha: So true. I think while we’re better off than a couple of Decembers ago, it shifted right in terms of where things are gloomy now.

Hasita: Yeah, I mean, we’re just facing problems in a different area. And I think for a lot of us, the potential to be laid off or having actually been laid off is a reality today, in a world where hiring opportunities are also not plenty. So it’s not that one industry is laying off, and the others are lapping it up. Instead, all around, we’re suddenly finding out that we may not have jobs going into the new year. And that’s a terrible place to be, I think, emotionally.

Subha: So true. I think it’d be good to spend some time today talking about what this really means for the individual and something that someone asked me, how do I not take it personally?

Hasita: Yeah, because it is turbulent emotionally and you can’t help but wonder, was it me, was it something that I did or didn’t do, and you take that into whatever next conversation you end up having. So yeah, truly, how do you not take it personally?

Subha: Hey, Small Talkers welcome back, as we spend time today, talking about the global layoff situation, which some of you may have been unfortunate to be a part of, which some of you may be kind of endlessly worrying about because you’re not sure of what’s coming. And some of you may be on the other side having to have these conversations or having to just be there for someone who’s going through a difficult time like this. So let’s spend some time on it, shall we?

Hasita: For sure.

Subha: And I think the thing that you asked me like, how do you not take it personally, I think, that’s really key because what we’re talking about is a layoff. And fortunately, today, everyone, including and I’m genuinely saying it, including senior generations understand that this is a business reality, right?

It’s not just something that happens in the Western world countries where the pink slip is very common on a Monday morning, but it is a business reality across the world, especially given how organisations are structured today, you know, small startups to funded startups to bootstrap startups too, you know, so many kinds of ways in which we’re getting work done, so many forms of employment, that this can happen.

And so for the individual, it’s important to remind yourself that what has been communicated to you, and the reason why you don’t hold that job anymore, is not because of your performance, you are not being fired. A layoff is very different from an individual being fired, which is typically due to non-performance, or due to breach of some kind of code of conduct. So you no longer earn the right to work there because of your own doing in a way. A layoff is difficult, and maybe it strangely feels more personal because it impacts you and it’s so out of your hands.

Hasita: Yeah, and sometimes so unexpected as well. I mean, I may or may not see the signs, but when it happens, it’s permanent, it feels very non-refundable, in a sense for lack of a better word. But how do you feel about redundancy, like the word redundant? Because we do see people saying, I’ve been made redundant, or that kind of communication. So then, I mean, you’re looking for the next job, and you have to say something. So how do you feel about that?

Subha: To me, personally, it’s a very harsh word. I always think when I read and you’re right, like we see posts where somebody says, I’ve been made redundant. I really don’t think you or the work you were doing till maybe a day ago there’s nothing as redundant about it. For the organisation, for the start-up, and for the company, that work is just as important as it was last week.

I think it’s only a question of whether there is some kind of a business situation, which is forcing them to look at resources available, how do I deploy them optimally, and in a way, what can I defer for later. So you’re not redundant, but the work that you’re doing perhaps, is not as critical as something else and hence, they can think of letting you go. So I somehow just don’t like the word redundant, but fine it’s become a part of common usage. And I think, don’t think of yourself as redundant.

Hasita: Yeah, that makes sense. And assuming that I have been laid off at very short notice, what should I then do? You know, I walk into my workplace on a weekday morning, and I’m there and I’m getting ready to work, and suddenly I see this mail or I get this call, that says let’s go meet your HR. I was not prepared for it. So what can I do now that it has happened, you know, the crash has happened what is my next plan of action, what step one really?

Subha: I think it’s a very, very tough emotional space to be in. And each of us reacts very differently to bad news. And a lot of it is just who you are. You can’t change that overnight.

Hasita: Also, maybe this is not the time to be changing that overnight as well.

Subha: So true. But do remember that this is in the work context. So try and do what helps you stay calm. If it means leaving the room, grabbing a cup of coffee, standing by yourself for a bit, taking some deep breaths, if it means calling your spouse, or best friend or parent and just letting them know immediately, you know, like one more person in the world knows, someone who cares about me, or if it means, just kind of pretending that you didn’t hear it and genuinely, for some folks, that helps that said, Okay, I’m not going to think too much about it right now.

It’s me, and I need time to process this. And I’m just kind of going to do mechanically what those around me seem to be doing. Whatever helps you stay calm and honest, to not do something stupid, something that you may regret, or may seem like not the best course of action.

Hasita: Also, in that moment of anger, it seems fair, but then it might have certain unpleasant ramifications in some way or the other.

Subha: Yeah, and, you know, stupid can take many forms. Like, don’t send out a very harsh kind of email to all, or don’t run to social media to just vent at that moment. These things leave footprints. And you are going to very quickly and immediately be reaching out to your network and being out there trying to find your next job. So just process it in a way that feels right for you without having to, or making sure that you don’t put something out there that you can’t take back.

Hasita: Yeah, that makes sense.

Subha: After that, then once you have been able to process it, maybe it’ll take a day, or maybe you don’t have that much time and you need to have an immediate conversation with the folks who are in charge to think about it immediately what do you need, what are your top three worries. Is there this huge EMI, which is dependent on this salary, is there a company insurance plan that was critical because your parents are unwell or do you know that you need access to something like that, do you have the company laptop or vehicle or something else that needs to be returned and there’s information on it.

So think about what are your top two-three immediate concerns, and what is plan B for each of those. Reminding yourself that there is a plan B, there is something you can do about it, there is a severance package, make sure that you have a two three-month runway, remind yourself of that, remind yourself of whatever savings that you hold, whatever liquidity you have access to, the people that you can reach out to. So that you are not making rash decisions because of that.

Hasita: But is it worth in this context, reaching out to the company for help does that really make a difference?

Subha: I think so. I think a well-planned layoff would also involve the company offering some of this assistance, one is definitely in terms of severance, and giving you clarity in terms of what you will receive immediately and over the next few months, etc. Make sure that you ask, which is why words like redundant etc., put the person on the defensive as though they did something so wrong that now they don’t even have the voice so they don’t even have the power.

You were an employee till the next few minutes ago and now human to human conversation, ask them for clarity on things that you just now listed as immediate concerns, you know, where you can get input from them and ask for access to certain files, maybe they’re taking away your devices, you say, Okay, someone just watches over me, but I need to send these two, three very important personnel, insurance copies or whatever it is that you need access to, that you don’t have elsewhere I need to send them to myself, or I need access to it. And also, very okay to ask for clarity on how much help they can provide in you landing on your feet again, very quickly.

Hasita: Yeah, and that was actually my next question. I mean, when a layoff happens, there’s no timeline as such as to when I might potentially be rehired. And sometimes, I think we have to make peace with the fact that it may take a few months rather than a few weeks. How do I prepare for that period of time? What kind of help should I seek? Is it more than I should focus on my skill set at that point? Or is there something else that I can do just to, like you said, not feel the redundancy, I may not actually be but the feeling continues to stay with me.

Subha: Correct. No, I think it’s very fair to reach out to those seniors in the organisation, maybe someone who’s been your mentor, or the HR or the folks who are driving this, whoever you have access and comfort with one for clarity two to say, Hey, how can you help me? I’ll send you my resume. Can you send it to a few people? Can you put us on to the consultant that the organisation uses to help us find jobs elsewhere? And I’ve heard some organisations are doing this.

Can you find some skill-building courses for us, that would be relevant, or useful for a job that I’m now going to have to search for, right, I think just ask yes, you may get a no, no, no to everything but you’re better off having asked, and some of those things may work out, some of those things may lead to newer ideas or something else that you can do so don’t hesitate, don’t feel like you’re isolated suddenly like, you don’t have to sever ties with these people so harshly, many of them who are passing on the information to you may just be that maybe messengers in some way.

Sometimes I’ve also heard like, those who are fortunate enough to stay behind in a way when there are mass layoffs, etc. are looking for ways to help others. But they need to know that one, you’re open to that, you are willing to communicate about that, you’re willing to stay in touch so that they can then put their network and their ideas to good use too.

Hasita: So true. This is definitely helpful Subha, because I think the first thing we need to do is recover from that shock. And I think we all want to believe that it won’t happen to us. But I think in today’s day and age, that guarantee is not there. And that was my next question to you actually, I have noticed in the company that lots of folks are getting laid off and my turn might just come up next. In general, there’s that sense of uncertainty that you know, there are conversations happening about how we are running out of funding, how do I manage myself while I’m essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Subha: Yeah, I think that it’s important in today’s context and business reality is that in a way, as you said, it’s not something that happens only to someone else. Interestingly, even in the initial days of COVID, for a lot of us, it felt like someone else could catch COVID, but I won’t, like I’m better off or whatever. So I think always and this is a good thing to do as an employee anywhere, or in whatever form your employment takes stay alert and be aware of what’s happening in that industry.

What kind of work is finding more work, what kind of products and solutions and services are finding more customers, where is there some kind of a drag, where is there some kind of a slowdown, keep close tabs on your organisation’s performance, know the big picture, at least that, hey, Q4 was better or worse than Q3 where are the areas that we’ve struggled, how could I possibly be impacted, who were the clients that we tried and didn’t get, what does that say, who are the clients who are kind of downsizing their work with us, what should that tell me about my own work and contributions, etc.

You know, you talked about funding in smaller companies and startups, I mean, sometimes even be wary of too much good news.

Hasita: Yeah, in fact, I was just going say that in terms of, you know, I have achieved hyper growth, my product was indispensable, and therefore, we presume that growth will continue and suddenly you become this large organisation, which may no longer be growing at the kind of pace that they set out to grow at, maybe there’s a sign there as well. There are too many conversations at investor meetings and presentations, so maybe it’s a good time to ask a few questions and get some information.

Subha: Correct. Or if there’s just rapid hiring in some streams without seeing the client list to back it up, or even the vision to back that up, I think, ask the questions and be ready to hear or be ready to kind of acknowledge that nobody seems to have an answer.

Hasita: So this is, that’s probably a good time to also consider just getting out I suppose.

Subha: Yeah, and keeping that resume ready and keeping your network, kind of connected to the right people or start thinking about who you should be talking to and what you should be exploring, I think it’s very, very real today. It could happen to any of us. You know, even for the kind of work we do as a kind of freelance or contract-based work we have to, and…

Hasita: In a way we’re always doing that. Like, we’re always looking for the signs. It sounds very morose, but that’s how you survive. Now, Subha, you have spoken about getting help from the system from which I was, you know, let go of, is that a bad way to let someone go? or, let me put it this way, is there a good way to let someone go if I had to do that?

Subha: No, I think we’ve and today I largely wanted to talk about what we do as individuals because there’s just so much we’re already seeing and hearing out there about how the other side how the employers have handled layoffs, some good and some really horrendous, and the horrendous stuff comes out and sometimes the good doesn’t, but I think as an employer, I would say three things, one, communicate in excess, if you can, like just communicate, just keep telling people things which they can know.

In that communication, and in general, give clarity, where you can try and avoid vagueness, they’re not going to run away with that information and do something with it. Just give them clarity, what are the timelines, what can you expect, what are we thinking, etc., how we will help you, how we can’t, and can we look at hiring you back after a year? You know, what is it that you can give them clarity about, and I think finally, that the Big E of empathy. This is important.

Hasita: Don’t be careless about it. It is a big deal for somebody.

Subha: Yeah, it is somebody’s life journey. And don’t be that CEO on a Zoom call. Don’t be the CEO weeping and crying and making it about themselves. So I think yeah it’s real, it’s winter, it is a tough time to be looking for a job. And I was just reading today that a lot of campus placements now are showing the signs.

Hasita: Yeah, that’s the other area where it begins.

Subha: Correct. It’s a good indicator of how things are doing. So it could be one of us, and it’s not your fault, it is what it is.

Hasita: And I think the impermanence of it sometimes I think that this is also not forever and that maybe there is hope on the horizon after all because everything does consolidate. And the same industry market that’s closing in will also open up tomorrow and that’s where all opportunities come from eventually.

Subha: There’s always hope guys and there is you know, what goes down comes up, business cycles are cycles, and just put yourself in the position to take charge of some of these opportunities that may come your way and be open to them. Don’t close yourself out from the world, don’t feel like you need to hide.

There’s no shame it happened, and I’m so glad that more and more people are willing to put it out there in various forums in a very kind of elegant and dignified way that Hey, this happened to me and I’m looking to move forward and either I’m looking for something immediately. So please help or this is the break that I think I needed.

So I’m going to take some time off and do XYZ. Do your thing, do what works for you, and know that the tide will turn and come back with full strength and full energy. So that’s it folks and hope this is helpful and do hope you don’t have to go through something like this at all in your career, but when it happens, it is what it is.

Hasita: It’s good to be prepared.

Subha: Yeah, it’s good to be prepared and take it in stride. See you next time, folks.

Hasita: Bye.

Subha: Bye.